Uneasy feelings bloated inside..

Have you ever feel that you don't belong to a certain group and all you want to do is to avoid as much as possible?

But deep inside your heart, you know very well that the fault is not in your friends. It is in you. You are the one who cannot accept the ideas that they proposed. You are the one who is only thinking that you are right. You are the one who could not accept changes that happens so abruptly? All the questions and answers fall back on you...

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ACCEPT THE INDIVIDUAL AS HE/SHE IS? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ACCEPT THE CHANGES IN LIFE?

Okay, you might think that the changes are not good for he/her or maybe you as it interfere your interests, that you are jealous of the new relationship being built?

Are you facing an identity crisis now?

Better make some self reflection on yourself before judging others.

1st Day of Chinese New Year!!!

1st day of Chinese New Year....

Gong Xi Fa Cai!!! Hong Pau Na Lai!!!

Hehehe.... I woke up quite late today because I slept rather late during the eve. Due to my vanity, I got a good scolding from mum and dad for cooping inside the bathroom for more than half an hour. Then again, I took a long time to choose what to wear, accessories to match, my hair, my perfume... etc... until "ENOUGH ALREADY!!! U BETTER COME DOWN NOW!!!"

oKAY... wait ar... I need to take my new handbag to put in angpows... WAKAKA! After getting angpows from papa and mama, we went to grandpa's house which is 5 minutes drive away from my house. We had breakfast together with the rest of my cousins, uncles and aunts. We did not play cards this year... sobs T.T I looked forward playing cards actually. It used to be our tradition when all of us will pour in our money and played... Haiz... Disappointed! After breakfast, we watched TV programmes together, then it came to a concert of WESTLIFE... then we started comparing which one is more macho... HAHAHA!

Besides getting angpow and MAKAN all day.... nothing special actually....HAIZ....

Thinking in advance...

After reading Jci Jci's latest post, I also have the tendency to choose my wedding dress in advance. HAHAHA!

For me, I so much wanted my wedding to be like a fairytale one. I hope there is one for me though. I sometimes hope life is a lot more simpler such as saying 3 words like "I-LOVE-YOU" is a lot more easier. I wished I can say that bravely to the people I like and care for sometimes. It just that sometimes you don't have enough guts to tell so...HAIZ... Wish that I was not as shy as that in 2009.
When I was a child, I was always amazed that every princess will find their prince charming and they live happily ever after. I wish that could happen in reality as well.

I want to live happily ever after with the man I love, and have a few kids... hehehehe... day-dreaming again... I should stop thinking about that for the moment... I DEFINITELY HAVE TO COMPLETE MY ASSIGNMENT!!!!!

Missions to complete!!!

These holidays.....Every timeI see a weighing machine... I will be wondering whether I have gained any weight or not?
Every time I weight myself, my expression will go like this....AHHHHHHHHH! I GAINED WEIGHT!!!!! WHAT!!!! I GAINED 4 EXTRA KILOS???

Saying goodbye to my favourite food is hard........CRY!!!!!!!

Saying hello to healthy food like this...........is so.. so.. YUCKY!!!!! Since when I have become a rabbit??? Have to be patient... since I want an ideal and slim body shape! (GAMBATE!!!)

I should really start working on my SS's assignment and do some studying... but my heart tells me to ENJOY while you CAN!!! HEHE!

Evertime I see a Christmas tree in anywhere, I know that Christmas is coming! Jingle bells, Jingle bells... and this calls for.....

SHOPPING!!! Hehe! Clothes, accessories, shoes, books, stationery, presents..... the list can go forever.....hehe

So, these are my missions to complete this holidays!!!

Have you ever dreamed of your own CASTLE?

Looking at this picture leaves my mind wandering and hoping that someday I too, can be the owner of this castle... hahaha! (reading and watching too much of fairytales) Somehow or anyhow, I still hope that one fine day my prince charming will be riding on his shining horse, looking for me and take me to his castle and we live happily ever after. HAHAHA! (yeah, I know... I am dreaming again)

I guess holidays make me dare dream a lot because I will have a lot of time to work on my imagination and cooking some devious plans as well. I don't know, but for me, I always think of fairytales and castles. Maybe I still have the sense of childishness in me. True, I won't afraid to admit that I still like to browse through toys and reading fairytales. Anything that is cute and colourful always catch my eyes. I still think that the world will be better if you believe in fairytales cause it ease your mind to somewhere else, making you feeling less stress and more happy.

Although sometimes there are no such happy endings in our life, however, I still believe that adding some fairytales can add some colours to your life.

Dreaming away~ moo moo moo

How come i found this HOLIDAYS damn BORING!!!!

Here I am... figuring my holidays... it is really very very boring this time... most of my friends are not back yet... and I am just plain lazy to start on my SS assignment... I am only planning to do it in December...

1 week of the Holidays had passed... Next week is a new week again... Again, I am going to face the boredom... haizzz... it is just too...... BORING!!!!! That always happened to me when my holidays are too long cause I will find it very difficult to pass time.

Today, when I was walking in Parkson, I found something that caught my attention... It was the list of orphans from the Salvation Army. I noticed that there are a lot chinese's orphans this time. I asked my dad about it, my dad only replied when times are bad, a lot of people has no money and borrowed money from loansharks... and leaving their children behind when they are unable to pay their debts. After hearing this, I felt that I am so lucky to have a stable and loving family. It is time for me to watch my expenses... I have to admit I have been spending a lot when I am in KL...money easy come, easy go! I never see the importance of saving it, but now I do after seeing so many people who is in need of money until they are willing to abandon their family and children.

Time to save and cut cost... Cut down on the number of clothes, shoes, accessories!!! SAVE!!!

Can't wait for Deepavali Holidays to come!!!

Yay! The Deepavali Holidays are around the corner... Let's see... Yeah!!! It will be starting next week. Hooray! The Pangkor trip falls on the 22nd, 23rd, and 24th. I will be going back... I wanna go back to meet up with my friends and teachers. Miss them so much especially Hui Ann, Jenna Wan Wei, Sze Wan, and of course my 2 most favourite teachers in the world, Pn Chew and Pn Lin.

Hui Ann, you better prepare to go out once I go back to Ipoh. No more excuses from you. Your exams are over and gone. Hahahaha!

Jenna, as usual, you are always there whenever I went back to Ipoh. My dear dear tortoise.

Wan Wei, my beloved big fat ham sap cat... hahaha... long time I did not meet up with you already... you can give me my belated birthday present!

Sze Wan... you naughty panda... asked you to go out, you will always say that I am fully booked with outings with my boy boy! Haizz....

Pn Lin... I am going to visit her these holidays. She is not going out stationed. Hooray! I have to catch up with the happenings in AMC!

Pn Chew... my most beloved teacher, I am not so sure whether she is free or not these holidays. I hope she is... I badly wanna go out and have a nice long chat with her. I did not get to chat with her during the last holidays.

Anyway, I am here to say that I am dying to meet you guys! Yeah! See you soon!

Muakzzz from May Kuan

Time really FLY!!!

Gee... my 1 week holiday is coming to an end again!!! I wished that our holidays are longer, then I can go and visit Pn Chew and Pn Lin.

Pn Lin just came back from Cambodia. Had a lengthy and funky chit-chat with her over the phone. Pn Chew, on the other hand, I will be going over to her place afterwards to visit her. I miss her so much! I can't go back to college without seeing her, I always feel incomplete. HAHA! I am always homesick for Pn Chew...

I did quite a number of things these holidays. I finished 3 ASSIGNMENTS! MUAHAHAHA!!! And I went out 3 times with my friends. I managed to watch MAMMA MIA!!! I managed to went all the way down to Tronoh to visit grandma. Grandma is fine but still rather weak at the moment. Hope that she will get better soon! What else did I do these short holidays? Haha, I went shopping with mummy.

Oh....sheesh....I forgot to get my brows done!!! Well, I will have to do it after dinner. I must do my eyebrows, it is really getting out of hand!

But, I really must say thankyou to all my FRIENDS!!! Thanks for going out with me eventhough all of you are having exams next week. Good luck in your examinations! And a safe journey back to your universities (Alvin, Yun Teng and Xuan Zhi). Godluck!!! And after your examinations, we are all going to Sunway Lagoon! Hooray! See you guys then!

My 1 week holiday going to end... sob

My 1 week holiday is going to end... i really feel like crying... i am not really looking forward going back to college... i wanna stay at home... and do my own things...

I wanna eat my daily healthy food... milk, eggs, yogurt, vitagen, yakult, home-cooked food, afternoon teas, cakes... haiz... no more eating what i like once i go back to KL...

And i will miss my family, friends and teachers so much. I did not manage to go out with every single of them... but they promised they will come back during the Hari Raya break... at least there is something for me to look forward... haha... if they dare not come back during Hari Raya... they will get a lot of punching and hitting from me, wei peng and lulu... cuz we will be celebrating our birthdays during the break.

And next time when i come back to Ipoh, i wanna spend a full whole day with Pn Chew and Pn Lin... hope that they will be free from school work... Miss Tham really load them with lots and lots of work... It makes me feel sad that my 2 beloved teachers have to suffer like this. That Miss Tham!!!

Papa does not allow me to come back to Ipoh for the Merdeka celebrations. He said i am to stay with Aunt Amelia and Uncle Danny for the holidays. Haiz... i don't mind staying with them... but, i want to go back... i still haven't meet up with my cousins yet... Ralph and Nick... i still haven't pay grandma a visit... everything is so rush-rush this week... a lot of things left undone...

But mark my words... i am going to plan my time-table for the Hari Raya break so that i can enjoy every moment of it... live life to the fullest!

SMI Drama 2008

Well done, SMI Drama!

Based on your acting, it was obvious that all of you have put in a lot of effort to make it a success. I managed to get the tickets last minute, thanks to Mr Chipmunk, Alvin Tan, who had 4 more tickets left. He managed to pass the tickets to me in Jusco yesterday. The drama was fun, i loved the actress who played the queen role. She had the majestic style when she walked and talked (looked like a queen). HAHA.. as for the King part.. (Jia Ee).. was kinda not so-so like a King! This King walked carelessly and was kinda dumb dumb... sorry Jia Ee... but you really don't look like a King.. or maybe you are supposed to act like this for this play. Overall, it was a good drama... with a lot of songs and interesting characters in it.

I am looking forward to the 2009 drama!

Happy Birthday, Edward!

Happy 19th Birthday!

Well, i did not really elaborate on Edward during my recent posts. Okay, now, i will have a few things to say.

HEM HEM... Edward is one of our seniors in IPIK. His best buddy is Ashley Tan. You can always see them loithering downstairs in TESL block. These 2 seniors are super nice to us. Always taking us out for makan and showing us the way to places like pavilion and timesquare. Edward helped me a lot la... like helping me to get the rm10 stamp each at such a short notice. Thanks a lot, senior!

These 2 seniors were the only ones that did not really make our life miserable during orientation. Most of them will so much like to play us until we really hate them. Speaking of orientation again, i am scared stiff of the thought. Change of subject! I am really grateful to have these 2 good guy seniors in IPIK. Thanks a lot and Happy Birthday to you, Edward!

Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining

I have been in Institute Perguruan Ilmu Khas for a week. Wow, my first impression was "I can't stand this place, i will just behaved and make sure that i go home safely during the weekends". Well, if you were me, you probably will think the same way as i do because the seniors were so harshed and unfriendly at first. When they opened their mouth, all they did was scold, scold and more scolding. Well, if you were wrong, getting scolded by people was fine.. but sometimes they really did scold us for no good reason. They seemed to be enjoying it.. bullying us while we cried on each other shoulders and regretted that we had came to this awful and horrible place. Our orientation was really TOUGH! It was the first time i attended this kind of orientation. Most of the orientation were supposed to have fun together but well.. we were not.. for the first, two days. It was like rushing here and rushing there. Skipping breakfast, lunch and dinner.. first time i ever did that. No time to sleep and no time to visit the toilet also. We were working like a robot who only gets 3 hours rest everyday and it was so tiring. For the first, two days, all i wanted was to go home. I wanted to leave this awful place. But, after a few more days, i found that it wasn't that bad afterall. We began to have some games with our seniors and i really enjoyed playing with them. Some of them were really pretty nice and friendly like Rajawesri, Dominic, Edward, Shan, Swee Peng, Sim, Catherina and etc. They were really super nice. My room mate was very nice to me as well. Her name was Chek Ee and she was realy helpful and friendly. She always makes me feel better whenever i came back down and depressed. Yesterday, Hui Ying, Rachel and i headed to Jusco Maluri to get a few things. We had a tremendous time together. I also meet a lot of super nice friends besides them like Lydia, Huey Jci, Felicia, 'Sofy', Sharene, Malini and lots.. ( i still couldn't remember all their names :( ). We went out with the seniors last night to have dinner. Found out a lot of good tips from them and it was really nice to get to know them.
I have no regrets now.. i think i have made a right choice.. Everything ends well.. Hope for the best and never gives up!

What is the meaning of LIFE?

We often thought that we are less fortunate than others. We always like to compare ourselves with someone which seems more fortunate than us. We like nothing but to compare all the time, never knowing the truth. The truth is we are the more fortunate ones. We are more fortunate compared to a lot of people. We have a family, friends, food, clothes, home and education. Not many people can have that.

I am touching on friendship today. Companions are so great. They bring happiness, sadness and hope into our life. Sometimes, we may disagreed on something or another, but if you think in a greater detail, they have made your life more colourful.

If i don't have friends, i may have been a different person today. I may have a business like attitude, cold eyes, using mechanical words in my conversations, and never thought of other people's feelings. I may not learn how to feel, to be moved by little gestures and that will make me into some kind of human robot, where there are no love for one another.

Having friends around me mademe change those attitude. I learn to laugh, to share happiness and sadness together. I have a most wonderful time to love my friends and to be loved by them. It made my life filled with more contentment and happiness.

If i ever can love and to be loved by someone, i am glad that i was born. Friendship Forever.

What does LOVE means to you?

Love is the most powerful thing in the world. It has good effects as well as its side effects. It can either make a person very happy or ruin a person's happiness. So, how can we define love?

There are all kinds of love in this world.. sibling's love, mother's love, father's love, boyfriend and girlfriend's love and etc.

Some people misused love and use it to take advantage of the person for many reasons. Probably the person is very rich and is able to give he or she lots of benefits. That is a wicked way to love someone. Though it is wicked, it is happening every second in our daily life.

Many a times, money is more important than love. For example, you won't possibly date a person that is much poorer than you. You would rather go on a date with some rich guys. But according to principles, this is not right. However, this is the reality.

If we truly love someone, we will do anything to make them happy. We can never bare to see them unhappy. But sometimes, our so called routine work tends to tear away our relationship with our loved ones. We are too stress to even think about them. And as the time goes by, you will forget your loved one by and by. Your loved ones become such a new stranger to you. That is one of the reasons why there are so many divorce happening in our society today.

If we just spend a few hours a day with our family, i'm sure this will bring down the ascending cases of divorce in our society.

Work is important, but always remember your family comes first.

Why it is so hard to express your feelings sometimes?

It is always easy to advice people to express their feelings... but when it comes to your own self, i always find it a little difficult.

Expressing one self can be very difficult. Everything seems to be very rush all of a sudden, and suddenly you will have no idea what to say, so i guess you will keep on talking but not knowing what exactly are you talking about. You wanted talk about another topic, but instead of talking about that, you talked about something else. That is waht happens to me when i am facing my loved ones. Haha! Weird, isn't it?

I wished i can express myself a bit more. Pei Han does has a point. Sometimes, we tend to hold back, not telling our loved ones how much we cared and loved them, then when something bad happened, we found out that it is too late to tell them how much we treasured about them. Then, we will start regretting for not telling them. But, regretting will not bring them back to life. So, the whole thing will be quite pointless.

Asians tend to be more secrective than europeans. We asians seldom expressed ourselves unless we have to. That is one of our weakness.

I hope that i will change my attitude as time goes by. I wanted to tell Pn Chew and Pn Lin that i loved and cared for them very much, instead of always making handicrafts for them now and then. Hope that i will succeed in doing that.

Comments on So You Think You Can Dance 2008

WOW... i never seen a dance as hot and interesting as Chelsea and Tyrane did. I mean they are truly amazing. Chelsea did a tremendous good job. I like the way she kicked her leg and turned her leg around. She is sexy, hot, and absolutely TERRIFIC! She really set me on fire.. haha! She is really good... especially when she can bend and turn her leg like that... absolutely amazing. As for Tyrane, well, he did a very good job too. He could dance from the floor right up to the top. He did very well in keeping pace with Chelsea. It was not an easy job especially Chelsea was so energetic and up to her feet. They are both my most favourite couple on stage. I really hope that they can get through into the finale. Good Luck to both of you. I am your number 1 biggest fan. WOW!!!

One of my Best Friends ~ Lulu

Hi, guys and girls. This is one of my 'best-sest' friend... LULU! Actually, her real name is Hui Ann. But since her surname is Loo, all of our friends decided to call her Little Lulu... or Lulu for short. And BRAVA... it suits her well. Hui Ann and i are friends since form 1. We sat next to each other for 3 years and you can say that our friendship is pretty strong. Since we sat next to each other for quite a long time, we were pretty used to each other 'habits'. Lulu likes to take a nap in class especially during maths or science lessons... she can sleep peacefully like a baby in a cradle. HAHA! But, she was definitely most energetic when it was History lesson, she would stay awake and with her eyes glued on the book, memorising each and every fact... totally ABSORBED! That's why we have another nickname for her as well, 'The History Genius'. And there was no doubt about that cause she can score the highest marks for history. Most of us would have rather take on the science subjects and not the arts subjects, but she is totally up to arts. Lulu is a pretty funny girl. She is very humuorous and would make you laugh until your stomach ache. Haha.. i really do miss school days. We were kinda crazy cause we like to play and fool around especially when the teacher was nowhere to be seen. If there is a teacher walking near our classroom, she will surely scream in horror. Our crazy days were like hitting each other, kicking each other, chased after each other... those were the days when we were young again. Lulu is a very helpful and comforting person. She had help me a lot and in many ways. I am totally grateful to her cause she always manage to make me smile or laugh despite how bad the situation is. Now, we are going different paths. She is going to Arts Stream in St Michael while i will be going to Teacher's Training in July. I hope that our friendship will never ends no matter how apart we are. She is really one in a Million! God Bless Her!

Thoughts

In life, you never know what is best for you. What is the best road to take? And knowing that once you take that road, there will be no way of turning back because you have past the point of no return. Sigh, nothing is certain. That is life. Now, i got the teacher's training scolarship. I am thrill but i know that there are some advantages and disavantages if i take the scolarship. The life of a teacher is definitely more simple and leisure compared to many jobs. It is not as challenging as the life of an accountant. You get to have more social time and holidays. The not so good part is you will not have a high salary like the ones in the private sector, unless you give lots of tuition. I guess i just wanted a simple life, have a family, a stable income.. that's all i wanted.