Saturday, October 31, 2009

Life

I don't know why I am saying this...but I have the feeling that I am getting older...and somehow...no matter how I wanted to be like yesterdays...when I was young, free and happy again...I couldn't...
I feel old...I felt that I am growing up...and there are a lot of things that I wished it to be invisible to both my naked eyes...but I couldn't...There are simply too many ugly facts of life...I wished to turn my head...but these things keep popping out one by one...like mushrooms grow and bloom after a rainy day...
The truth is I don't know what is wrong with me...
I am no longer my old self...
the bubbliness had gone...
the smile is forced and fake...
the laughter does not come from the heart...
the face is no longer merry and happy...it is sad and worry...anxious...
I have lose faith in others...
I am keeping more things to myself
Feelings bottled up...
I wonder when will be the next erruption be...
I want to be FREE...
but that will never happen...
I am searching for the meaning of life...
Sometimes I am sick of it...
I wish I can look things at a different angle...
but there is always a shadow following me...
looking at my every single move...
I have to continue this pretency...
to acheive the many happiness of others...
abandoning my own happiness...
I have lost the meaning of life...
The dreams I once had had shattered...
the pieces that remained...
served as a bitter memory...

Friday, October 30, 2009

Themes on To Kill a Mockingbird - Courage and Prejudice

In the novel ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’, Harper Lee illustrates the theme of courage. In my opinion, courage is the ability to face pain or opposition without showing fear. However, according to Atticus Finch, “Courage is when you know you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what”. There are two kinds of courage namely moral courage and the courage to take on and carry through a task which is certain to end in failure.

The most significant courage is the courage to take on and carry through a task which is certain to end in failure. Atticus illustrates this form of courage when he is willing to take on Tom Robinson’s case. Although he knows very well that the people in Maycomb will give him and his family a bad impression because he laws for niggers. Nonetheless he decides to help Tom Robinson. He puts his family’s life in danger by taking on the case. Jem and Scout are nearly killed by Bob Ewell on their way back from the Halloween party. When Atticus says “The one thing that doesn’t abide by majority rule is a person’s conscience”, he strongly believes in doing what is right even though it may seem wrong to the society.

Defending the blacks is a taboo in the society. No matter how innocent they are, they are still considered as guilty by the society. Although some of the Whites know that Tom Robinson is innocent, they do not have the courage to stand up for him because they feel that the jury’s decision will be biased towards the Whites no matter how much evidence is provided to prove that Tom is innocent. Atticus chooses to do otherwise. As he says in “Simply because we were licked a hundred years before we started is no reason for us not to try to win”. Although he knows very well that he will not be able to win the case, he tries his very best to persuade the jury. He also creates awareness to people that prejudice is happening in Maycomb. Besides that, he also teaches his children that being courageous is not about holding a gun in your hand but standing up for what is right no matter what other believes.

Moral courage is also shown in Atticus. Atticus shows strong moral courage when he is being criticized by the community ever since he decides to take on Tom Robinson’s case. For example, he does not side Jem when Mrs. Dubose criticized him. “Son, I have no doubt that you’ve been annoyed by your contemporaries about me lawing for niggers, as you say, but to do something like this sick old lady is inexcusable. I strongly advise you to go down and have a talk with Mrs. Dubose”. Instead of being proud of his son for standing up for him, he makes Jem apologize to Mrs. Dubose. Atticus feels that everybody are entitled to think what they want and they are entitled to full respect of their opinions. Besides that, Atticus also shows strong moral courage when Bob Ewell cursed him and threatened to kill him. To Bob’s surprise, he does not fight back. Instead, he just says that he is too old to fight. Atticus also role models his sense of bravery by refusing to carry a gun to protect himself after Bob Ewell threatened to kill him. To Atticus, “having a gun around is an invitation to somebody to shoot you”. Atticus also strongly believes that withholding violence is the highest form of courage.

Another theme in the novel is prejudice. In my opinion, prejudice means an unreasonable dislike for a person based on their race, religion and sex. Prejudice is said to be the “Maycomb’s usual disease”. Black people occupy the lowest class level of Maycomb’s society as Maycomb’s white population of every class waste no time in reinforcing their rigid class rules. The characters, Atticus Finch and Aunt Alexandra have different opinions on racism and this has greatly influenced Scout’s life.

Aunt Alexandra is prejudiced against the Blacks and also some of the Whites in the community such as the Cunninghams. Aunt Alexandra believes that because the Finch family comes from a long line of landowners who have been the county for generations they deserve greater respect than do other people and they must comport themselves according to their status. She refuses to associate with both black and white citizens alike because they do not fill the same social position. From the first moment she steps into Scout’s house, she begins to show Scout and Jem that she is more superior towards the Blacks. She orders Calpurnia, the Finch’s housekeeper who is a black to put her bag in the front bedroom. She neither says “please” or “thank you” to Calpurnia, but just a simple command that puts Calpurnia into an inferior position. Besides that, she also tries to counsel Atticus to get rid of Calpurnia. “And don’t try to get around it. You’ve got to face it sooner or later and it might as well as be tonight. We don’t need her now”.

In addition, she is also prejudiced against the Cunninghams. She does not allow the children to invite Walter Cunningham for dinner and to play with him. “Because – he – is – trash, that’s why you can’t play with him. I’ll not have you around him, picking up his habits and learning Lord-knows-what”. Her reason is simple and that is because the status of the Cunninghams does not par with the Finches. She wants Scout and Jem to “behave like the little lady and gentlemen” and “[they] should try to live up to their family name”.

On the other hand, Atticus has a completely different point of view from his sister. He shows the highest respect for everyone in Maycomb regardless their colour or class. His defense for Tom Robinson, a black man accused of raping a white woman, proves his high ideals. Atticus not only shows his non prejudice through the trial for Tom Robinson, but also through his conduct with Calpurnia. Atticus turns down Alexandra’s attempts to fire Calpurnia. “Alexandra, Calpurnia’s not leaving this house until she wants to. You may think otherwise, but I couldn’t have got along without her all these years. She’s a faithful member of this family and you’ll simply have to accept things the way they are”. Atticus respects Calpurnia as an equal and he values everything that Calpurnia has done for the family.

When Tom Robinson trial begins, prejudice as racism can be seen clearly in the novel. Tom is being charged with the rape of a white girl. The county will not believe Tom’s word over the white girl because he is a Black. They do not think that it is possible for a white girl to actually want to kiss a black man. The town does not believe that a black man will feel sorry for a white girl and help her for no payment at all. Therefore, they assumed that Tom was guilty. The Whites in Maycomb have this evil assumption “that all Negroes lie, that all Negroes are basically immoral beings, that all Negro men are not to be trusted around our women”. Although the truth is Tom is innocent, the Whites simply ignore the fact.

In conclusion, both themes play a major role in making the novel more interesting. Prejudice is a vicious cycle that is passed down from generation to generation and it is very hard to stop unless somebody is courageous enough to stand up for their right.

To Kill a Mockingbird - Scout growing up

In the novel “To Kill a Mockingbird”, Scout grows up from innocence to maturity. She learns something important that cannot be learnt inside the classroom. Through the many events happening to her during Tom Robinson’s trial and the gossips about Boo Radley, she gains new insights to the society in the small town of Maycomb.

In the beginning of the story, we know that Scout is a tomboy. She never wears dresses nor behaves like a lady. Instead, she likes to wear overalls and behaves like a boy. It is probably because there are no other little girls around her neighborhood, therefore she is always mixing with the boys especially her brother, Jem. She also engages herself in playing games that only boys played like being wheeled in a tyre. Towards the end of the story, she starts to become more ladylike and she wears dresses. Her more lady side of her emerges when she must have tea with the neighbourhood ladies. She offers Mrs. Merriweather whether she would like to have some cookies in her very best manner. Although Scout does not like Aunt Alexandra’s influence to some extent, she picks up some of the good habits that a girl should have and to be admired.

Young for her age, Scout is literate at the age of six, much to the surprise of her school teacher, Miss Caroline. She is able to read “My First Reader” and the stock market quotations from “The Mobile Register” like any adults. Besides that, she is also interested in books like Tarzan and Ant Men that not many six-years-old are able to grasp the content of it. As she is well read, she is brave to voice out her opinions to adults if she feels that what they are doing is wrong. For example, she sounds Uncle Jack that he is unfair to her when he punishes her straightaway and he does not give her time to explain what had happened between her and Francis during Christmas. After learning the truth, Uncle Jack is dumbfounded. He tells Atticus that Scout has given him his first lesson that is he does not understand children much and why.

Also, Scout also transforms from an innocent girl to a mature girl. Before the trial scene, Scout used to think that all men are good. After that, she chooses to think otherwise. She can see the clear cut discrimination and prejudice against the Blacks in Maycomb. Although all the evidence has proven Tom innocent, the jury still decides that he is guilty because of his colour. No matter how much prejudice the Whites have for Blacks, Scout still believes in equality for everyone. When Jem says that there are four kinds of folks in their society, she begs to differ from him. She says there is just one kind of folks that is folks. When Aunt Alexandra calls Walter Cunningham trash, Scout stands up for him and says that they are good folks.

Another apparent transformation that Scout goes through is when she is able to put herself in other people’s shoes and understand them from their point view. In the beginning of the story, she has the difficulty to understand people like Walter Cunningham. When Jem first invited Walter over for dinner, she could not understand why Walter is drowning his dinner in syrup. It never crosses her mind that Walter is not able to eat syrup as often as she does because his family cannot afford it. The big moment that shows Scout is growing up is that she comes to the conclusion that Mayella must be lonelier than Boo Radley. White people won't have anything to do with her because of her family and poverty. Black people wouldn't have anything to do with her either because she is a white. Scout and Dill have already come to the conclusion that Boo Radley perhaps wants to stay in his house but Mayella seems wants to be a part of a society that won't have anything to do with her. Scout is able to put herself in Mayella's shoes and understand what it must feel like to be Mayella. Scout is able to see that there are different parts to everyone's personality.

In conclusion, Scout’s growing up can be seen throughout the novel from an innocent young girl to a mature young lady. Scout has certainly learns a lot by putting herself into other people’s shoes and the knowledge that she gained has certainly enriched her understanding on the people around her.